Holidays

First time I stay at apt alone in the holiday break, watching mad men, 30 rock, thinking about my past, feeling lonely, and cooking. Sometimes I think man! how pathetic it is! I hate being alone, but I have to accept it, I am born alone.

Mad men is a drama that 's so complicated. I am not attracted by the story itself, but by the way it make the audience think about themselves after watching it. Oh I like this kind of movies and drama. Yes, Now I figure out what kind of a person I am a little bit. Sometime I just don't know what I am and what I wanted to be.

Sometimes I wonder if I am putting myself in a position so high that no one can actually understand me. There's an old saying in Chinese:"the more elegance of the tune, the less audience it can have". Maybe that's the impression people can get from me, but I am not intended to present this kind of impression. And even they get this impression, I am still not going to tell them: hey, You misunderstand me! how lame it is to explain yourself to another person.

I know how it feel like when you try to expose your true side in front of another person. Especially when they just don't give a damn of it. It hurts, really, I get hurt ....(let me see..) twice.
I am not blaming anythings here, I just feel if someone do this kind of things, they deserve to be treated in a gentlemen way. But maybe I am wrong here, just as Matthew's opinion, there's no a good way to breakup, cliche is cliche for a reason. So no blaming, She just not that into you man.
Cheer yourself up and move on in your life.

Final day of this semester and Final day of my ? year

Too bad, my birthday is just in my last day of the final. And I surprisingly don't have the kind of fever in Birthday, who care, anyway. It's time to think about my life all these years, and I am a year older, but does my wisdom a year wiser?

Speaking of birthday, I do remember the good old time that I spent with my roommates in college, we usually hang out in a restaurant and I paid for the dinner... So in a sense, my birthday is also their holiday. Hard to find a bunch a people who know you well and hang out together here. Maybe it just because I am new here. Or because I am to shy to make new friends? But I don't like this kind of guessing. People being together and then move on in their life, it's the most nature things in the life. Sometimes it may be sentimental, but please accept this fact anyway.

I had a test in 7:30 am this morning, that make me woke up 6:00 this morning. It's so early that reminded me a dumb thing I did months ago. It's so stupid that I don't even wanna mention it. The point is, she does not deserve this. And I should forget her as much as I can.

Then after the test, I have to proctor another test in 12:00am, and after the proctoring, I have to attend another test at 2:00pm. What a busy day! But after today, I should really think about my life after the final, and after this semester. I can not change the cards we are dealt with, so I just play them with all passion.