Holidays

First time I stay at apt alone in the holiday break, watching mad men, 30 rock, thinking about my past, feeling lonely, and cooking. Sometimes I think man! how pathetic it is! I hate being alone, but I have to accept it, I am born alone.

Mad men is a drama that 's so complicated. I am not attracted by the story itself, but by the way it make the audience think about themselves after watching it. Oh I like this kind of movies and drama. Yes, Now I figure out what kind of a person I am a little bit. Sometime I just don't know what I am and what I wanted to be.

Sometimes I wonder if I am putting myself in a position so high that no one can actually understand me. There's an old saying in Chinese:"the more elegance of the tune, the less audience it can have". Maybe that's the impression people can get from me, but I am not intended to present this kind of impression. And even they get this impression, I am still not going to tell them: hey, You misunderstand me! how lame it is to explain yourself to another person.

I know how it feel like when you try to expose your true side in front of another person. Especially when they just don't give a damn of it. It hurts, really, I get hurt ....(let me see..) twice.
I am not blaming anythings here, I just feel if someone do this kind of things, they deserve to be treated in a gentlemen way. But maybe I am wrong here, just as Matthew's opinion, there's no a good way to breakup, cliche is cliche for a reason. So no blaming, She just not that into you man.
Cheer yourself up and move on in your life.