I realize I have fully capability to destroy myself. Human are fragile, may be I just didn't learn the spirit of let it go or let it be. I am definitely not in the position to say I can transient from all the mundanes on earth. I realize how hard it is to be living by yourself. I wonder, will this situation be better when I meet someone who I can spend my life with? I presume the answer is yes. Then the reason that I likes or loves someone would be I am so lonely that I don't want to be ended up alone. But is that so? Maybe I really don't know.
At some points, we are all alone. We will all die alone. In front of death, everyone will be treated equally. Then, what's the point of getting married? What's the point of loving or being loved? We live independently, we don't live for another. Is it the social obligation to married each other? to love each other? Though that is the foundation of the human society, but logically speaking, you are pretty much on your own most of the time. Of course, you can follow the norms blindly and spent your life accounting on it. Anyway, that's the whole point of human as a group of biological entities. So it is by no harm to live with it. In another point of view, that is logically speaking, you can also not live with it. So anyway, it's all your choice.
So what's my choice then? I don't want to live alone, I want to live with the people I love, the people who love me. The desire of the love for me at this point is stronger than I ever had.
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